i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
