I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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