Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
