i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
