dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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