Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
