my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
