Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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