I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize