great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
