I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
