Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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