They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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