put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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