Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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