STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
