susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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