:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sober January is a disaster.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
