no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
