Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
