you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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