i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
