its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
