can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
