she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
