She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize