if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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