he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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