I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
