Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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