Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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