Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
