return my video game
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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