At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The air was thick with penises
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
