Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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