my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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