I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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