im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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