U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
