You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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