There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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