We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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