East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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