Fuck appropriateness.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
