he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
