Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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