He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
