Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
