shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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