1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have tasted many bathrooms
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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