Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So vagazzling was a success
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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