the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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