It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
