Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
