i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
