Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i need some magic done to my vagina
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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