Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
