Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
