We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
